In business, I loved cars. I couldn’t wait to get
to work in the morning. Only in America can you decide to get a good education and pursue what you
like.
— Lee Iacocca
To get back on your feet, just miss two car
payments.
— Former Car Owner
The average American would travel in his car to the
bathroom if the door was wide enough.
— Unknown Wise Person
Americans have two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and
two headaches for every aspirin.
— Author Unknown
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
— Bumper sticker on the back of a parked
rusted-out jalopy
Drive inexpensive cars, but own the best house
you can afford.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Statistics show that in 1940 each car on the road had an average of 2.2
persons; in 1999 it was 1.4. At this rate, by 2020 every third car on the road will be empty.
— Unknown wise person
The reason American cars don't sell anymore is that they have forgotten
how to design the American Dream. What does it matter if you buy a car today or six months from now,
because cars are not beautiful. That's why the American auto industry is in trouble: no design, no
desire.
— Karl Lagerfeld, French fashion designer, Vanity Fair,
1992
Life is too short for traffic.
— Dan Bellack
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
— Steven Wright
I don't have any trouble parking. I drive a forklift.
— Jim Samuels
Nowadays every American wants life, liberty, and a car
in which to pursue happiness.
— Unknown wise person
Have a good friend who owns a truck.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
One day an American worries about going to the poorhouse, and the next day he buys a new automobile.
— Author Unknown
THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD MAN'S SECRETS OF LONGEVITY
1. Don't run for a bus — there'll always be another.
2. Never, ever touch fried food.
3. Stay out of a Ferrari or any other small Italian car.
4. Eat fruit — a nectarine — even a rotten plum is good.
— Mel Brooks
You might be a Redneck if none of the tires on your car are the same size.
— Anon
Broke is not having one penny saved, even though you have a good job. If
your car breaks down, so will you. You don't have money for repairs, but you need the wheels to get
to work.
— Suze Orman
You might be a Redneck if you have eight cars and still have to bum a ride to work.
— Anon
Forget the damned motor car and build the cities for lovers and
friends.
— Lewis Mumford
You just might be a Redneck if you have totaled every car you have ever owned.
— Anon
You just might be a Redneck if your retirement plan involves sleeping
in your car for more than two years at a time.
— Dave Erhard
By the time a man can afford to buy one
of those little sports cars, he's too fat to get into it.
— Author Unknown
To George F. Babbitt, as to most prosperous citizens of Zenith, his motor car was poetry and tragedy,
love and heroism.
— Sinclair Lewis
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
— P. J. O’Rourke
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden
Pond.
— Edward Mcdonagh
The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.
— Marshall McLuhan
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
— Lewis Mumford
An automobile can help you see the world, but it's up to you to decide which world!
— Unknown wise car owner
Watch out for the driver in the car following me.
— Bumper sticker
When passing, watch out for flying parts.
— Bumper Sticker (on a Ford)
Nothing depreciates a car faster than having a neighbor buy a new one.
— Unknown wise car owner
Nothing reduces the value of a car like trading it in.
— Unknown wise car owner
Some auto mechanics can estimate the cost of repairs very closely. They can usually get within a
dollar or two of what you have in your pocket.
— Unknown wise car owner
A new car isn't a barometer of how much money a fellow has, but it's a pretty good indication of how
much money he owes.
— Author Unknown
Man who run in front of car get tired; man who run behind car get exhausted.
— Chinese proverb
Avoid driving your car as if your journey is the only one on earth that is
going to save the universe. Stop and think about it; And you will realize that your journey is rather
insignificant in the higher order of what is important in the universe.
— from Life's Secret Handbook
I can walk. It's just that I'm so rich I don't have to.
— Alan Bennett
Trust in God, but lock your car.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A cheap old car can be quite annoying. But so can a new expensive one.
— Author Unknown
If you must hurry, then hurry slowly.
Speed kills — in more ways than one.
— from Life's Secret Handbook
Who but Americans can afford chairs that vibrate and cars that don't?
— Author Unknown
Pontiac went out of business today. Now you have to go to Cuba or Jay
Leno's garage if you want to see one.
— David Letterman
America has drive-in theaters, drive-in supermarkets, drive-in restaurants, and drive-in banks. What it
needs now are more drive-in parking places.
— Anon
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the
family car.
— Unknown Wise Person
Americans have two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and two headaches for every
aspirin.
— Unknown Wise Person
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the
family car.
— Author Unknown
There are too many middle-of-the-roaders in America, and they all drive cars.
— Author Unknown
America is rapidly proving to be a place with two cars in every garage — and none of them paid for.
— Anon
The young people of the United States squander over ten billion dollars a year on games of chance.
This does not include weddings, starting a business, passing cars on a hill, or buying a television
set.
— Anon
If you thing your automobile is expensive to operate try operating a shopping cart in a supermarket.
— Unknown wise person
It seems that our modern cars won't start until the seat belt is fastened — and the pocketbook is
emptied.
— Unknown wise person
Every year the cars get lower and wider, while the payments get longer and higher.
— Unknown wise person
A man in Alabama complains that his new car has been recalled by the dealer — there was a defect in his
bank account.
— Unknown wise person
My apartment was only half-furnished, with stuff the Salvation Army
wouldn't accept. My car was over ten years old — a beater that doubled in value every time I filled it up
with gas. A cheap umbrella to deal with the Vancouver rain was my only status symbol.
— Ernie Zelinski writing in Career
Success Without a Real Job
After pricing new cars it begins to look like the economy model is the one you're now driving.
— Unknown wise person
There was a time when $200 was the down-payment on a car; now it's the sales tax.
— Unknown wise person
Some automobile manufacturers have a sneaky way of lowering the list price. For instance, on one model
the steering wheel is an optional extra
— Unknown wise person
A cheap old car can be quit as fast as can a new expensive one
— Unknown wise person
Anybody who thinks the automobile has made people lazy never had to pay for one.
— Unknown car owner
Today's cars keep a person strapped without safety belts.
— Unknown wise person
A good way to make your present car run better is to have a salesman quote you the price of a new
one.
— Unknown car owner
The worst fault of a car driver is his belief that he has none.
— Unknown wise car owner
Never buy a beige car.
— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The most dangerous wheel of chance is the steering wheel.
— Unknown wise car owner
The time was when the perfect gift for a sixteen-year-old girl was a compact. It still is — if it
has four wheels.
— Unknown wise car owner
Once somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. she
said "No, but I did get the license number".
— Rodney Dangerfield
At the last count, gossip was running down more people than automobiles.
— Unknown wise car owner
No illusion is more crucial than the illusion that great success and huge
money buy you immunity from the common ills of mankind, such as cars that won't start.
— Larry McMurtry
The value of horse sense is shown by the fact that the horse was afraid of the automobile at the time
the pedestrian laughed at it.
— Unknown wise car owner
The wheel was man's greatest invention until he got behind it.
— Unknown wise car owner
The juvenile delinquent is a mixed-up kid, a victim of mixed drinks — mostly alcohol and gasoline.
— Unknown wise car owner
The only way you can get the same gas mileage in your car as your friends say they get in theirs is to
lie about it.
— Unknown wise car owner
Life is one dodge after another — cars, taxes, and responsibilities.
— Unknown wise car owner
What we need in this country is a car that eats oats.
— Unknown wise car owner
Automobile dealers say that motorists are demanding lighter cars. So are the pedestrians.
— Unknown wise car owner
Detroit has finally come up with a 100 percent effective anti-pollution device. It's an ignition key
that doesn't fit.
— Unknown wise car owner
The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
There should be just half as much horse sense behind the wheel as there is horsepower under the
hood.
— Unknown wise car owner
All forward motion isn't necessarily progress. Did your brakes ever go out as you were driving down a
hill?
— Unknown wise car owner
We give people a box in the suburbs, it's called a house, and every
night they sit in it staring at another box; in the morning they run off to another box called an office,
and at the weekends they get into another box, on wheels this time, and grope their way through endless
traffic jams.
— Caroline Kelly
A rumor is afloat that we have a new trade agreement with Russia. We will send them 10,000 automobiles
from Detroit, and they will send us 20,000 parking spaces from Siberia.
— Anon American
I bought a new Japanese car, I turned on the radio ... I don't understand a word they're saying.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I remember one guy gave her a good piece of his mind. yeah, it was right after she took a good piece of
his leg.
— Rodney Dangerfield
My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
— Rodney Dangerfield
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the
dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit
— Rodney Dangerfield
We have more cars in the United States, but Russia has more vacant parking places.
— Unknown American
Nowadays when you tell a teen-ager he must shift for himself, he thinks you're going to buy him a new
sports car.
— Unknown wise adult
The best way to keep teen-agers home is to make their surroundings pleasant — and let the air out
of the tires.
— Anon wise parent
A few teen-agers think they know all about driving a car once they learn where the horn is
located.
— Unknown wise parent
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the
stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance that the transmission is shot.
— Larry Lujack
